Pink Floyd Suck?

Even insane megalomanic astronomy students take time out to listen to music, watch tv, re catalogue their people to have assasinated list, etc

A few days ago, prof hans bobbletoff left a message posted on this blog. Sure i denied reading it at first, just my imagination like that noble peace prize. I looked again today, and it is still there.


"Finally, a momentous twin announcement. After months of deliberation, argument and soul-seeking, two pillars of seeming immensity and solidity have finally and irrevocably crumbled. I thus say to you; Radiohead suck! Pink Floyd suck! They are both shite! Dare to defy me!"

I believe in a four tiered structure of the music industry. At the foundation, we have the classics, Beathoven, Bach, Wagner. Above them are the untouchables, groundbreaking artists who influence many who include Dylan, Rolling stones, Hendrix, Bowie, Pink Floyd. Then there are the great musicians above them. Finally the tripe at the top.

By removing a pillar from a tier, the musicians in the tiers above fall down like the shit that they are. No one has to like the classics or the untouchables, or enjoy their music. All they have to do is accept they are untouchable. Sure the prof may not enjoy the floyd, but are they shit? No.

Give that man a medal

My ground-breaking paper on cold fusion has been rejected by the astrophysical journal. I had discovered the secret of cold fusion by accident in my laundry basket. By carefully arranging the socks by colour I was able to generate a substantial source of heat. I have got the process down to an art.

Who would have thought that the admiral would single handedly solve the global energy crisis. I definitely deserve to be knighted (again), and personally congratulated by Dick (the boss)Cheney.

The editor of the astrophysical journal did not seem to think so however. In his rejection, he sited my paper as being, like my laundry basket, a stinking pile of tosh. He said he was 99% sure that the heat produced was the result of my laundry basket being close to the radiator. He also quibbled about cold fusion being an unsuitable paper for the astrophysical journal.

Well I have altered the type face and given myself a few extra titles and sent it right back to 'em. I don't know how I can work with these morons.

In other matters, I will be meeting up with the other band members this weekend. It is not going to be easy with the police, MI5, MI6, and the vigilante division of T.W.A.T.S. (the Trade union of Welsh Astronomy Teachers and Students) all looking to apprehend me. (Hey I don't know why the RAS don't think I will make a great physicist, half the day is spent coming up with crap acronyms).

I gotta get in the country for a start, and with every airport, ferry and the tunnel looking out for me, I am gonna need to weave a bit of admiral magic to get in.

Well bill has safely arrived in the UK. He gets special royal protection from the Queen. I cant wait to see his new tea set.

How to cope without bill

I woke up on Sunday morning gasping for a cup of tea. Looked at the empty pillow besides my head and remembered bill isn't here.

The guy is a hero, no matter what kind of trouble with the authorities we are in, he never lets things seem bad. I had no milk, and being a bank holiday I did not expect to get any. A quick tour of the kitchen brought up only one realistic alternative, whipped cream. Hey, I thought, same difference.

I stirred it all in, and it looked rank. I closed my eyes and brought the cup to my lips, yuk, I spat it out and tipped the rest down the sink.

I am worried about bill, he may be good at the domestic stuff, but he is never going to outrun the RAS. I got a text last night, he was pulled up by the Hungarian police. He stayed calm and it turned out his headlights were not switched on.

So what am I doing about the prototype fusion reactor? Is it really true, that I am holding the global physics community to ransom by maintaining this pointless deadlock over the location of the project? In a word, yes!

Hey they don't want me on board, so why should I let anyone else on. Besides I always thought malumbimby would have made a much better site.

BBC Subtitles 888 - Hours of comedy

Been to university? Too posh to watch football? Don't want to admit to the old man you are a class traitor?

BBC Subtitles page 888 is the solution!

Yes you have not used it for a while, and neither has anyone else. The spelling is so bad it is funny. Yesterdays England vs Northern Ireland match was farcical. Classic lines include "the Irish are about to bring two serbs off the bench". Not constrained to sport, any live broadcast will fall foul of the doofas curse.

Next time you gotta watch the match, just say you have an ear infection, and the rest is history.

By the way, check out the link to RP's blog (under construction).

Sven pressure

Good afternoon Bloggers,

The football association cottoned on to operation ultimate donkey, and agent Sven was forced to abort the mission. There is a serious possibility of a mole in the organization. Be aware of this when disclosing information.

From an artistic point of view however, great match today. Terry, J.Cole and Rooney had a fantastic game.

Budapest has become too dangerous. The RAS are looking out for duodecagenarian male, with a Scottish accent traveling with a male companion, no description, who may be dressed like an admiral. We have had to leave the city separately and will rendevous on Wednesday. Until then I will have to make my own scones.

The RAS are not happy that I am applying pressure on the royal family. Their influence in RAS circles cannot be underestimated. Currently 3 senior royals support my cause, and I am in the process of blackmailing Prince Harry. I have photographic evidence of him putting litter in a bin, helping an old lady across the road and other general good deeds. If this was made public, it would ruin his reputation.

I cannot stay put much longer, communications will be resumed Monday.

The Admiral


Please note that the contents of this site are totally ficticious, and that they should not be taken seriously. I do not want the FBI to pay a visit, the people that live here are scary enough as it is.

Subliminal message alert

All you bloggers out there, whether loyal to the RAS or looking for regime change, will surely treasure your copy of Mary L Boas Mathematical Methods in the Physical Sciences 2nd ed. The Angelina jolie of the physics community, Mary is a fine example to all physicist out there.

Agent Tony Hart in his duel role as artist and lecturer has been working the UK network for decades recommending this fine piece of work to undergrads across the nation. The rarer 2nd ed is known to contain coded messages, describing the eventual overthrow of NASA. This edition has only been given to the most trusted physicists and it is no accident that you own a copy. Details of translation will be given out shortly.

Agents out there working within the football association, will have noticed the overt operation, ultimate donkey, is taking place at old trafford today. Agent Emile Heskey will be recalled today, make a note of the time each time he mysteriously falls over.

On a lighter note, I have been made aware of Star Wars Holiday Special. Has anyone out there seen it? Really Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher and Mark Hamill all got together to make it.

I am currently operating from Budapest, since MI6 are hot on my heals. They have been gunning for me ever since I started collecting my Navy Pension, not bad for an admiral actually. Well how was I supposed to know that only real admirals are entitled to a pension. Billy boy was wounded in a gun battle yesterday, not badly, but he wont be ably to pour out the tea for a while.

New tour dates added

Welcome Bloggers,

In honour of Billy boys 147th birthday, the Butts Cafe Tribute Band will be altering their tour dates. On April 15th the band will be playing at Edinburgh castle, and Billy will be guest vocalist.

All songs will be taken from the latest album, "Young, gifted and slack" and we will be performing our current US/UK chart topper "show me the way to the dole queue".

This will be the first time the band has toured since last summers abandoned tour after frank and iggy were tragically killed in a freak meteorite impact.

The new line up has Greg Chuckle on drums; Silent John on keys; Alexman, Mike, Grey, Dave, Tim Chuckle, and myself on guitar; and the game on vocals and bass. Please note that we are in need of a 7th guitarist, and if you know of someone who could fill these boots get in touch.

Further tour dates and ticket information can be reached at www.dont.be.a.doofas.and.follow.this.link.com

The story so far...

Rejected by the UK physics council for being too radical, too mould breaking, too dangerous, perhaps even too shit to continue in the academic establishment, the admiral has become a renegade working underground to corrupt the youth of the British nation to the dark side, theoretical astrophysics.

He strives to lead a dark army to overthrow the powers that be and establish himself as chief astronomer of the Royal Astronomical Society. He associates with all manner of suspicious characters, in his bid to claim the noble prize for physics.

His only companions are Princess Melanoid Hoosenoid Boosenoid of Arundel (HRH), who uses her royal connections in her role as insider at the RAS, and Billy boy, the hologram of a lovely 140 year old man who loves to throw tea parties.

He wants you to join this most unsavory bunch of desperadoes, just as soon as he gets to grips with the gremlins in his blog.

Beagle gambit pays off

Yes some of you are already aware and many more of you have suspected this, and today i can finally confirm that i, Overlord Rear Admiral Alan, Master of the Universe, did hijack the beagle 2 mission to mars.

In colaberation with an insider collegue at the European space agency, Damion Hurst, we fitted a jamming device and transmitter to the lander, preventing ESA from getting their grubby mits on the valuable data. I have spent the last year working on the data, and am now ready to publish my thesis on the six types of microscopic life that i have discovered on Mars. Please see www.admiral.alan.does.a.mars.walk.ac.uk for details. Surely i will get the nobel prize for this paper.

Note that this is a secure site and its contents are for a privaleged few. Be careful not to leave paper copies of this blog where a member of the RAS could get to it.

Finally an evil laugh, wha ha ha ha...

The Admiral

Note that this work is fiction, and should not be taken seriously. I do not want a visit from the SAS, i think i would cry like a little baby.

The beginning

Well this is it, the truly fabulous memoirs of Overlord Rear Admiral Alan, Master of the Universe, M.Sci.

I must make a few things clear from the start. The fabulous memoirs of Lord Rear Admiral Alan are not going to be fabulous. Far from fabulous in fact. Neither for that matter am I a lord of the realm. I dont even know what overlord means, except it sounds more extravagant than plan old dull boring lord. Oh and I use the two interchangeably only because the name of my blog was too long to fit the over bit in.

Since this is a bit of a confession, I am not a actually a rear admiral either. I do have a masters degree in astrophysics however so it is not unreasonable for me to abuse the title master of the universe. Well to be honest it is a bit of a cheek.

Perhaps a more fitting title would be the pointless rants of Alan the bum.

Well it needs to be said that two days ago I did not know what a blog was. A friend sent me a link to her site and asked me to leave a comment. I thought that I should register a name to comment with and in five minutes I had my own blog to look after. Bugger.

Well I will make the most of it, by making it totally unreadable.
What's that, you are still reading, well if you have made it this far, leave a comment.

Alan