Give that man a medal
My ground-breaking paper on cold fusion has been rejected by the astrophysical journal. I had discovered the secret of cold fusion by accident in my laundry basket. By carefully arranging the socks by colour I was able to generate a substantial source of heat. I have got the process down to an art.
Who would have thought that the admiral would single handedly solve the global energy crisis. I definitely deserve to be knighted (again), and personally congratulated by Dick (the boss)Cheney.
The editor of the astrophysical journal did not seem to think so however. In his rejection, he sited my paper as being, like my laundry basket, a stinking pile of tosh. He said he was 99% sure that the heat produced was the result of my laundry basket being close to the radiator. He also quibbled about cold fusion being an unsuitable paper for the astrophysical journal.
Well I have altered the type face and given myself a few extra titles and sent it right back to 'em. I don't know how I can work with these morons.
In other matters, I will be meeting up with the other band members this weekend. It is not going to be easy with the police, MI5, MI6, and the vigilante division of T.W.A.T.S. (the Trade union of Welsh Astronomy Teachers and Students) all looking to apprehend me. (Hey I don't know why the RAS don't think I will make a great physicist, half the day is spent coming up with crap acronyms).
I gotta get in the country for a start, and with every airport, ferry and the tunnel looking out for me, I am gonna need to weave a bit of admiral magic to get in.
Well bill has safely arrived in the UK. He gets special royal protection from the Queen. I cant wait to see his new tea set.
Who would have thought that the admiral would single handedly solve the global energy crisis. I definitely deserve to be knighted (again), and personally congratulated by Dick (the boss)Cheney.
The editor of the astrophysical journal did not seem to think so however. In his rejection, he sited my paper as being, like my laundry basket, a stinking pile of tosh. He said he was 99% sure that the heat produced was the result of my laundry basket being close to the radiator. He also quibbled about cold fusion being an unsuitable paper for the astrophysical journal.
Well I have altered the type face and given myself a few extra titles and sent it right back to 'em. I don't know how I can work with these morons.
In other matters, I will be meeting up with the other band members this weekend. It is not going to be easy with the police, MI5, MI6, and the vigilante division of T.W.A.T.S. (the Trade union of Welsh Astronomy Teachers and Students) all looking to apprehend me. (Hey I don't know why the RAS don't think I will make a great physicist, half the day is spent coming up with crap acronyms).
I gotta get in the country for a start, and with every airport, ferry and the tunnel looking out for me, I am gonna need to weave a bit of admiral magic to get in.
Well bill has safely arrived in the UK. He gets special royal protection from the Queen. I cant wait to see his new tea set.
posted by Overlord Rear Admiral Alan, Master of the Universe at 5:37 pm
3 Comments:
Hey Alan,
Can you help me with my homework?
Amir
Yes the deity, billy boy , has indeed joined the mortal realms to instate the highest award of office that can be decorated upon a radio astronomer anywhere in the galaxy, the Glen Cross.
Though it is unusual to award the GC to any living astronomer, due to the perilous nature of the Anti RAS Council movement it is unlikely that anyone putting the level of commitment to the cause required will survive, i have been notified that i am being considered for the full GC.
I do feel that Amir should move on in his life and stop pressing the department to upgrade his degree to a first.
Admiral Alan GC (pending)
I too have a keyboard, although it only works using 'Picture Board' software. I can now pump out a beat using cat miaows, police sirens and a man saying 'bumblebee'. I do not what mp3 decks consist of. I assume they involve spinning tiny microchips on minute decks using strands of your own hair to scratch with.
I also notice that the science master, on his blog, has renounced his roots and plumped for some half-arsed bourgeoise lifestyle. Soon we will find him in wine bars and playing squash with a guy called Gerald (not the DJ/MC).
I have decided to join the anti-RAS cause in the hopes of gaining a Glen Cross. Rumour has it that it is the only known cure for Parkinson's, although side-effects include uncontrollable shaking.
I seek to break the RAS from within, so I will start a petition to rename them the Astronomer's Royal Society. Hopefully they will not notice the potential PR catastrophy until after it has occurred.
Vive la Revolution!
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